Self Discovery- Part 1

Beginning Self Assesment Activity Instructions

1. Create a presentation in a format of your choice (document, recording, Powerpoint or Prezi, webpage, blog, etc.) that describes the person you believe you are today
2. Don't be afraid to identify areas that you are unsure of or exploring
3. The best assessment is to identify areas you feel strongly about and areas you are seeking answers to
4. Include at least 3-4 of the following questions to answer in your presentation:
   • What makes me the unique person that I am?
   • What am I currently leaning towards in a major and career?
   • What special interests, skills and/or abilities do I possess that could lead me to my desired lifestyle or occupation?
   • What would I like to be "best" at in an industry or profession?
   • What types of things would I enjoy doing the majority of my time on a daily basis?
   • What would my dream job look like?
   • Add anything that will help you clarify the person you are today and the things that you gravitate to in a major and career
5. When you have created your "Beginning Assessment" presentation, place a copy in your CareerPassport binder for future reference. 

Who do I believe the person I am today is? That's a big question. I don't even know where to start so I'll start with how I thought I knew who I was and who I think I really am. I am still going through this process of figuring out who I am. I believe I am still me at the core but I have learned so much that it is almost as if I am a different person. I guess the easiest way to describe this is to start with my background. I grew up (it makes me want to cry cause it used to mean so much to me and I want it to still but I feel like I've been better off without it---yep, tears coming) in the LDS church and like I mentioned, it was everything to me. I lived my life based off that religion. That is how I defined myself. I just realized this. Just now. I had a conversation with Steevo the other day. I said, "her type is LDS boys" and he argued back saying type isn't about religion, it's about their personality or looks. The way I presented myself and acted around others was based on the LDS church and not me. I never trusted myself, I ALWAYS looked to others for guidance and counsel. That isn't a bad thing but I've recently been realizing I need to trust myself. I need to live my life for ME! WHAT DO I WANT! Am I getting off topic? It's still difficult for me to wrap my head around because I just totally processed everything I was taught in my life in the "wrong" way. I want to blame my parents. I want to blame the church but it all came down to me and how I perceived things. It hurts my brain. I believed I believed in God. Here's what it was. It came to a point where I was never happy. I was basing the way I act around the beliefs of the church. And when I finally realized I can make decisions for myself, I was happier. I have to want it for me, not for other people. That's what's confusing cause I thought I wanted it for me but apparently not. That's a hard realization to come to. I think I've figured out who I am through typing this all out. I was g chatting Taylor while writing this and I'm going to post our convo cause I feel like it might be helpful sometime. 

nevermind haha how would you define "type" like he's not my type

50 mins

ummm.... like they dont have the qualities i look for in a person

Taylor • 44 mins

would that include religion?

44 mins

I think it could...?

Taylor • 43 mins

if someone said "he's not my type cause he's catholic, would that make sense?"

43 mins

yes!

Taylor • 43 mins

interesting

thats what i thought

does your religion define your personality? bhaha sorry if this is annoying i am just interested to hear your input

41 mins

not annoying

i think people can let it define their personality... but i dont think it has to

Taylor • 40 mins

do you think its healthy for it to or it just depends on the person?

39 mins

like for me personally... i would say i hope it defines my personality in way that make me charitable and loving.... but i think im very good at separating church from my personality when it comes to judgments and people who may be different?

Taylor • 38 mins

okay i think i get that

YES i get it!!

35 mins

I let the church define my personality. I was never happy cause I never felt like I was good enough...I was to an extent but I don't think I really was until I stepped back and realized I let it define how I acted?? But I think I believe in it. I have to do that. I have to differentiate the two... 

cause going to church makes me feel like im a failure at life but i just have to accept im doing the best i can i guess?

32 mins

and i think you have to differintiate 

Taylor • 32 mins

i think you have to too

31 mins

lol didnt mean to send that yet

Taylor • 31 mins

oh well it made sense anyway haha

31 mins

i think you have to differentiate between the gospel and the culture... i think a lot of people get caught up in the culture (needing to be perfect, needing to be married, needing to be a house wife, etc etc)

Taylor • 30 mins

yes thats what it is

30 mins

but the prophets teach us to be perfect so that confuses me cause its impossible for humans to be perfect

perfect like christ

maybe they haven't said that, that is just what i interpret?

29 mins

We will NEVER be perfect on this earth. But perfection is just something to strive for... at least that is how i look at it

Taylor • 28 mins

hm. okay

28 mins

In the words of Dieter...

"I want to tell you something that I hope you will take in the right way: God is fully aware that you and I are not perfect.

Let me add: God is also fully aware that the people you think are perfect are not.

God wants to help us to eventually turn all of our weaknesses into strengths,but He knows that this is a long-term goal. He wants us to become perfect, and if we stay on the path of discipleship, one day we will. It’s OK that you’re not quite there yet. Keep working on it, but stop punishing yourself."

Taylor • 22 mins

so is the path of discipleship different for everyone? its interesting cause i was doing everything I could to strive for perfection and i hated that. i would get so depressed cause i realized it's nearly impossible...and now that i have stepped back and am doing what i feel like i am capable of im so much more comfortable with myself but feel bad that i've stepped back from something were taught is supposed to make us happy in the long run...so i need to find a balance with being okay with where i am at?

does that make sense? hahaha i always feel like im all over the place and can never put into words what Im thinking

17 mins

that makes sense. 

i TOTALLY think our paths to discipleship will all be different 

because our personalities and wants and needs are all so different

for me... the idea of being perfect is something i honestly never even think about. my personality focuses more on the small stuff

Taylor • 15 mins

and i am the exact opposite. which is probably why i have always stuggled with it

14 mins

one of the reasons at least

my brain hurts hahha

13 mins

lol!!

the important thing is that you are a good person. 

Taylor • 13 mins

is it really tho??

12 mins

i think there are always going to be times when we are closer to Christ and then there will be times when we are further from Christ...

I think instead of focusing on the idea of 'perfection' we should focus on our relationship with Heavenly Father.... because when that is a priority I think the perfection will follow...

Taylor • 11 mins

hmmm. i definately felt closer to christ when i was more invested in the church but i wasn't happy with myself so thats confusing for me haha

i just need to accept this process and get the clicker from men in black to restart my brain

11 mins

and yes i totally think that matters. you have all the fundamentals of being a disciple of Christ. you are one of the most loving people i know. 

Taylor • 10 mins

gahhh youre gunna make me cry!! hahah

10 mins

i can think of PLENTY of people who may be doing all of the basics to be perfect but REALLY lack in the love

Taylor • 10 mins

lightbulb! i was unhappy with myself cause i was doing it cause i was told to not cause i wanted to. i need to want it for myself- not just go through the motions cause were taught to 

8 mins

EXACTLY

Taylor • 8 mins

was that connected to what you said??

7 mins

i mean... no but it makes complete sense

Taylor • 7 mins

for some reason the love vs doing made that connection for me?

7 mins

and i agree

that makes sense

so yes

Taylor • 7 mins

hahha oh man you are a good person to put up with me hahaha i feel bad cause you never tell me things. IF YOU HAVE THINGS TO SAY I WANT TO KNOW SO TELL ME PLEASE

6 mins

hahahaha when i am thinking about these things and answering it totally helps me and makes me think about why i believe what i believe 

Taylor • 4 mins

yessss good to know!!

i feel like youre on the other end rolling your eyes and being annoyed and overwhelmed by my deep thinking haha

4 mins

NOT AT ALL!!!! i feel like ive gone through of these same thoughts and feelings the past year or so as well!

Taylor • 4 mins

oh really?? im not aloooooone! i need to talk about it and i get the best insight from you. 

3 mins

oh you are definitely not alone!

Taylor • 3 mins

well i appreciate you. 

2 mins

and i am ALWAYS open to talking about these things. because it helps me too

Taylor • 2 mins

yay! what is you doing after work?

1 min

im heading to chelsies to make our europe movie!!

what are you doing?

Taylor • Now

My brain hurts. I need to digest all of this and I will report back tomorrow to continue. This will probably take a while. I shall title this Part 1 haha